Is your dog your child?

by Colleen Paige

Thursday April 9th, 2009

  • Share on Facebook

It's funny when I ponder the word "own" to describe my place in my dog's life. I can't imagine telling someone that I own a child - biological, adopted, or otherwise. And I feel that the word "own" - when it comes to describing the inclusion of a dog in my life - sounds so arrogant, because it implies that dogs live with us and have no control over who they love and where they wish to be. If a dog chooses not to live with you he will find a way to leave - though he may destroy a whole door jamb in the process and you may not mind his absence so much after all. People are not much different.

When asked if I own a dog, I frequently find myself replying, "Yes, I have a dog." But even then the word "have" implies that your dog is an object or a thing, a possession of sorts. For example, "I have a goiter" or "I have a Stanley drill" is one thing, but "I have a dog" makes it sound like he's lodged in your side like a third arm or something. And, truly, what else can one say except "I have a dog"? I could say that I "live with" a dog or that I "coexist" with a dog, but people might need more of an explanation. Often, I delight in saying that I gave spiritual birth to a second child who just happens to be a dog.

Parenting a dog

But, as with all children, no matter how good a parent you are, your little ones are bound to act up at the most inopportune times and places. Part of being a good dog mom is not to sweat it if your pooch doesn't behave as Miss Manners at the dog park. The only people who will go home gossiping about your little lady in all likelihood have nothing better to do with their time. Too many dog mommies get unnecessarily strung out over the behavior of their furry charges. Just let go of it. Kids are kids, even if they are dogs.

Think of it this way stress is to humans what one brand of dry-only dog food - day in and day out for fifteen years - is to dogs. Seek out new alternatives to enhance your life, one of them being get over dog stress. Any parent who has more than one child will tell you that he or she is much more relaxed now, having learned from the first child that it's not necessary to spray Clorox® on the shopping-cart handle or hide in the baby aisle the entire time Junior is having a tantrum. Children teach us patience - perhaps that's the miracle of tantrums, shedding, and destroyed furniture.

Levity goes a long way

When it comes to excuses for my dog's behavior (she's not perfect, nor am I), I try to use humor to diffuse any stress she may cause me or others. If you can make someone laugh about it, then you've got it in the bag. Very casually I'll tell people she is my second child, who, due to some bad genes somewhere in my family, was born with excessive hair growth and bad teeth. I'll go on to explain that her tail is something we had surgically implanted for balance to help with vertigo. Then I'll finish with an appropriate apology for the drool on their Manolos or other cherished accessory.

As a behaviorist, I am supposed to clarify that "dogs are not people too." But they do seem to know how to push our buttons to get attention. They also seem to know just what kind of facial expression to throw at us when hoping for the rest of our ice cream or French fries. (Fortunately for me and my dog, I have cut out most fat from my diet.) And, like the husband you forget needs some mothering too, dogs have no idea that something as natural as shedding can make you speak in tongues from time to time. Anyone have some holy water?

There are so many similarities between dogs and children. My child eats out of a bowl and so does my dog. My child has been known to beg for food on more than one occasion, and so has my dog. My child whines at me to take him to the park; throws up in the car; breaks toys, glasses, and collectibles - and so does his sister, my dog.

It really is OK to treat your dog like your child, as long as you don't get the two and their unique needs mixed up. Spot may enjoy eating a LUNCHABLE® with twenty-five first-graders, but it really isn't proper food for him. Likewise, it would be awful to confuse your biological little one with a pet and send him off to the groomer instead of pre-school. Express your animal love freely, but remember: Robby's toothbrush is the blue one with the rocket, Spot's is the red one with the bone, and your husband's is the one that you're often tempted to clean the tile with when he's in the doghouse.

Colleen Paige is an animal behaviorist, the Editor-in-Chief of "Pet Home" Magazine and the author of "The Good Behavior Book for Dogs." She offers advice to clients and readers alike, ranging from dog and cat training and pet friendly interiors and garden design to pet nutrition and pet safe pools and homes.

DogTime newsletter
Related Content on DogTime.com

  • Finding the right family-friendly dog for you

    March 31st, 2011

    For many kids, the family dog is their best friend--a companion who teaches them about friendship, loyalty, responsibility, and empathy as well as providing unconditional love. If you treat your dog...

  • Myths and facts about spaying and neutering

    March 31st, 2011

    MYTH: My dog will get fat and lazy. FACT: The only way your dog will get fat and lazy is if you do not provide enough exercise and feed him too much. MYTH: It's better for my dog to have one litter...

  • Finding a puppy: Picking the right breed of dog

    March 31st, 2011

    There are many things to consider when choosing a puppy, including which breed or type, and the optimal age of acquisition. Obviously, you want to choose a dog that is best suited to you and your lifestyle....

sunny

http://www.mbtshoestrainersuk.co.uk/ http://www.oakleysunglassesuksale.co.uk/ http://www.mbtukshoessale.co.uk/

8 months ago by sunny

Anonymous User

My dog Champ was certainly my baby. He passed recently. But I can assure you that he was considered and adored nothing less than my very own son.

over 2 years ago by Anonymous

Anonymous User

Absolutely !! I totally agree. My dog, Bubba, is 2 years old. He is my first dog and I am 47 with two grown children. I never had the chance to experience the "empty nest" syndrome since I adopted my kid! I tease my grown children that their "little brother" is better behaved then they were at the same age. Bubba listens, they didn't, Bubba appreciates me, they didn't, Bubba likes everything I cook for him, they didn't, Bubba can entertain himself for hours, they were constantly telling me "I'm bored!". The list could go on and on. Don't get me wrong, I adore my children but the relationship you have with your dog just can't compare. Now my children are off on their own and they each have their own four legged best friend.

almost 3 years ago by Anonymous

Anonymous User

Yes!Gracie is my baby.I don't have any children,so Gracie has become my girl.I talk to her,feed her special treats and cook her food for mealtimes.I figure that it is the least I can do for all the love,laughs and compaionship she gives me.

almost 3 years ago by Anonymous

see all 6 comments →

Recent conversations on these topics

  • Northwest Animal Rescue Alliance in Oregon--BUYER BEWARE

    I am writing to let you know that an organization here in Oregon which lists its pets online has not acted responsibly. I adopted a dog from the Northwest Animal Rescue Alliance of Salem this spring. It was soon apparent that the pup had parvo, and I spent thousands (no typo) keeping him alive. He is OK now, but during his illness, the two contact women for the group assured me that the group would refund my very high adoption fee to help cover the completely unexpected illness. Once he recovered, they stopped answering my e-mails and calls and would not even tell me how I could arrange the neutering that the fee was supposed to cover. I am distraught at my financial situation, and sad that animal welfare is being entrusted to a group such as this. Who is responsible for certifying rescue groups? Where is the oversight? Any state agencies I can contact? How can I spare other families my plight? I suspect that the people running this group do not really know what they are doing, and I know for a fact that they housed many other "rescue" pups with my Parvo-infected dog. Illness happens, and I understand that is a sad fact of pet ownership. I have taken care of my part of the bargain 100%. BUT I do not accept people going back on their agreements, especially a rescue group charging for neutering and then not providing it. Can anyone help me notify the proper authority in this case?

  • Chow Chow Australian Shepherd Mix

    Tomorrow, me and my family have decided to go check out a dog, and see if he suits our family. I have been interested in him, and a few other dogs for a while, and sadly most of those dogs have been singled out. (To big, a Pit Bull, etc. I wanted the Pit, my my was against it tho) The dog we are considering is a male Chow Chow Australian Shepherd Mix. (CCASM) He is good with kids, dogs and most likely good with cats. (We have all of those) I am pretty sure what they wrote about him is true, so I am prepared for a few minor things, like what I just listed, buts thats really all. Does anyone own one of these mix breeds, and tell me what they are like so I can have a better idea? Or, if anyone has owned a Aussie and/or a Chow before, what would you think they'd act like? Any guesses are also welcomed. I know each dog is different, but I just want to get a idea of a few things I may have to deal with in the future. Oh, and he is 3 years old, and I am adopting him from a shelter, not a breeder. Shelter animals need homes much more then a fancy little lap dog... Sorry, I kind of have a thing against little dogs... I like them but they are to small for my taste, and often annoying.... Thanks!

  • Reebok NFL Jerseys

    <a href="http://www.ugg-outlets.org">ugg outlet</a> <a href="http://www.ugg-com.com">ugg bailey button</a> <a href="http://uggs-bootsoutlet.com/ugg-boots-clearance-c-106">ugg boots clearance</a> <a href="http://cheap-boots.org/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=97">UGG Roxy</a> <a href="http://uggs-bootsoutlet.com/ugg-roxy-short-5828-c-66">ugg roxy</a> <a href="http://www.uggs-bootsoutlet.com">ugg for cheap</a> <a href="http://www.uggs-bootsoutlet.com">uggs boots outlet</a> <a href="http://www.uggs-bootsoutlet.com">UGG Boots Sale</a> <a href=" http://www.buttonboots.org">Cardy ugg boots</a> <a href=" http://www.buttonboots.org">leather ugg boots</a> <a href=" http://www.buttonboots.org">ugg sheepskin boots</a> <a href=" http://www.buttonboots.org">tall ugg boots</a> <a href=" http://www.buttonboots.org">UGG Classic Mini</a> <a href="http://www.boots-online-sale.com">USA UGG Boots</a> <a href="http://www.boots-online-sale.com">UGG Sheepskin Boots Sale</a> <a href="http://www.boots-online-sale.com">ugg brand boots</a> <a href="http://www.boots-online-sale.com">buy ugg boots</a> <a href="http://www.argyleboots.com">tall ugg boots</a> <a href="http://www.argyleboots.com">Short ugg boots</a> <a href="http://www.argyleboots.com">classic ugg boots</a> <a href="http://www.argyleboots.com">ugg boots on sale</a> <a href="http://www.argyleboots.com">ugg australia boots</a> <a href="http://www.argyleboots.com">discount uggs boots</a> <a href="http://www.cheap-boots.org">wholesale uggs</a> <a href="http://www.cheap-boots.org">Cheap ugg boots</a> <a href="http://www.cheap-boots.org">buy ugg boots</a> <a href="http://www.cheap-boots.org">kids ugg boots</a> <a href="http://www.cheap-boots.org">ugg boots australia</a> <a href="http://www.cheap-boots.org">UGG Sheepskin Boots</a> <a href="http://www.classicshort.info">Uggs Classic Short</a> <a href="http://www.classicshort.info">Classic Short Boots</a> <a href="http://www.classicshort.info">classic short ugg</a> <a href="http://www.classicshort.info">Classic Boots</a> <a href="http://www.classicshort.info">UGG Short Boots</a> <a href="http://www.classicshort.info">uggs short</a> <a href="http://www.classicshort.info">uggs classic short</a> <a href="http://www.classicshort.info/ugg.roxy.short.5828.c.71">ugg roxy</a> <a href="http://www.uggs-bootsoutlet.com/ugg-boots-clearance-c-106">ugg boots clearance</a> <a href="http://www.uggboots-clearance.org">Ugg Boots Clearance</a> <a href="http://www.uggboots-clearance.org">UGG Clearance UK</a> <a href="http://www.uggboots-clearance.org">UGG Clearance outlet</a> <a href="http://www.uggboots-clearance.org">UGG outlet</a> <a href="http://www.crochetboots.org">Crochet Boots</a> <a href="http://www.crochetboots.org">Classic Crochet BootS</a> <a href="http://www.crochetboots.org">ugg Crochet Boots</a> <a href="http://www.crochetboots.org">ugg cardy crochet boots</a> <a href="http://www.crochetboots.org">crochet winter boots</a> <a href="http://www.crochetboots.org">knit ugg boot store</a> <a href="http://www.crochetboots.org">Classic Crochet for Women</a> <a href="http://www.argyleknitboots.com">cheap ugg boots</a> <a href="http://www.argyleknitboots.com">argyle knit boots</a> <a href="http://www.argyleknitboots.com">chestnut ugg boots</a> <a href="http://www.argyleknitboots.com">Ugg Classic Cardy Boots</a> <a href="http://www.argyleknitboots.com">Ugg Classic Short Boots</a> <a href="http://www.australian-boots.net">UGG Bailey Button 1873</a> <a href="http://www.australian-boots.net">UGG Classic Tall 5815</a> <a href="http://www.australian-boots.net/ugg-roxy-short-5828-c-65">ugg roxy</a> <a href=" http://www.ugg-boots-europe.com">Cheapest ugg boots</a> <a href=" http://www.ugg-boots-europe.com">ugg boots uk</a> <a href=" http://www.ugg-boots-europe.com">cheapest ugg boots</a> <a href=" http://www.ugg-boots-europe.com">cheap ugg boots</a> <a href=" http://www.ugg-boots-europe.com">ugg boots on sale</a> <a href=" http://www.ugg-boots-europe.com">tall ugg boots</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com">wholesale NFL Jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com">Cheap NFL Jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com">NFL Jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com">kids nfl jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/2011-nfl-super-bowl-xlv-jerseys">super bowl jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-new-orleans-saints-jerseys">wholesale Saints Jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-baltimore-ravens-jerseys">baltimore ravens jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-buffalo-bills-jerseys">wholesale buffalo bills jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-cincinnati-bengals-jerseys">cincinnati bengals jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-cleveland-browns-jerseys">cleveland browns jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-denver-broncos-jerseys">denver broncos jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-houston-texans-jerseys">houston texans jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-indianapolis-colts-jerseys">indianapolis colts jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-kansas-city-chiefs-jerseys">kansas city chiefs jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-jacksonville-jaguars-jerseys">jacksonville jaguars jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-miami-dolphins-jerseys">miami dolphins jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-new-england-patriots-jerseys">new england patriots jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-new-york-jets-jerseys">new york jets jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-oakland-raiders-jerseys">oakland raiders jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-pittsburgh-steelers-jerseys">pittsburgh steelers jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-san-diego-chargers-jerseys">san diego chargers jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-tennessee-titans-jerseys">tennessee titans jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-arizona-cardinals-jerseys">wholesale cardinals jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-minnesota-vikings-jerseys">wholesale vikings jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-san-francisco-49ers-jerseys">san francisco 49ers jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.wholesalenfls.com/wholesale-atlanta-falcons-jerseys">atlanta falcons jerseys</a> <a href=" http://www.nfljerseysoff.com">wholesale nfl jersey</a> <a href=" http://www.nfljerseysoff.com">kids nfl jerseys</a> <a href=" http://www.nfljerseysoff.com">super bowl jerseys</a> <a href=" http://www.nfljerseysoff.com">Reebok NFL Jerseys</a> <a href="http://www.longboots.org">ugg boots clearance</a> <a href="http://www.australia-uggs.net">australia uggs</a>he flag of Australia and thus, it follows that every pair meet up with the standards and excellence of the country in order to be notably famous as best quality bootsIn a company statement, Emu chief operating officer Dave Porter said: The fact that UGG Australia has filed a lawsuit against a company for misleading consumers makes us laugh down here in Australia Sheepskin Boots100% authentic sheepskin for unrivalled comfort Furuggs on saleBoots is founded on the

  • ugg boots clearance

    <a href="http://www.australia-uggs.net">australia uggs</a>mework to provide a enhance goose much more generous fashion, but in add-on extremely comfortable A babe consistently wants to be informed, and absolutely hopes [url=http://www.longboots.org]ugg boots clearance[/url]

see all conversations or start your own →
AD

featured articles

see all featured content »
Help shelter dogs and puppies through Save a Dog on Facebook

Welcome to DogTime.com

DOGTIME LOGIN or SIGN UP

AD
AD